Thursday Thoughts Newsletter is your weekly dose of 3 brief ideas from me, 2 quotes I’ve recently enjoyed from others, and 1 question for you as you go about your week.
If you prefer reading on your browser instead, you can also read it here. Let’s get to it:
3 Brief Ideas
Idea #1: Disagreement does not mean hate, but there is a situation where it might feel that way: It happens when a person makes himself/herself their own ultimate source of truth. This is the catalyst that turns disagreement inevitably into personal offense. How so? Once the self and the truth are combined into one source, any form of disagreement is no longer a challenge to the idea only; it also necessarily becomes a challenge against the self as well. When the self and the truth are equivalent—even the kindest, most gracious, and most reasonable disagreement—will invariably be received not only as an ideological challenge, but as a personal offense.
So, how can we disagree cordially and argue conceptually, without making it caustic and taking it personally? The solution, of course, is to detach the self from the truth. It is to subscribe to the notion that the truth exists independently from the self and objectively in reality. People will finally be able to disagree without taking offense only until the self and the truth are viewed as distinct and not one-and-the-same.
Idea #2: Whenever difficult conversations with difficult people with difficult situations loom ahead, sometimes question-asking is the best strategy towards finding resolution and gaining reconciliation. This is because it enables the other person to unearth how they feel, what they feel, and why they do—all at a pace they feel most comfortable with. As in all difficult conversations, our strongest temptation is to be understood first and then to understand second. And that’s why question-asking is disarming: it flips the script, signaling that you are putting their interests and needs above your own.
- When neither person seeks to understand, friendship is impossible.
- When one person seeks to understand, friendship is feasible.
- When both people seek to understand, however, friendship is inevitable.
Idea #3: In pruning, there is a misconception that only the dead parts need to be pruned and cut off. But oftentimes, the gardener will not only prune the dead and dying shoots, but sometimes the living shoots, too. This happens usually when these living shoots are just not growing in the right direction or in the right fashion or inhibiting other fruitful areas from being as fruitful as they can be. To be sure, it’s relatively easy to prune the “dead” from the “alive” and the “worst” from “best.” But it takes much more discernment to prune the “alive” from the “most fruitful” and the “good” from the “best.” Sometimes, in order for a gardener bring forth maximum fruit, he must prune even the alive and good parts, so that they might not inhibit the whole plant from reaching its full potential.
God prunes his people in a similar way. The pruning shears usually feel cruel at first, especially when they sever off what we believe is “good” and even “alive” in our life. But in our Gardener’s foresight, he knows what is best and what will bring forth the most fruit. He loves us too much to not prune those areas, knowing who he has called us to be and what he has called us to do. The shears of God may be sharp, but his purposes are redemptive, not vindictive. His aims are for maximal and particular fruitfulness, not just general and moderate aliveness.
2 Quotes From Others
“Grace is not opposed to effort. It’s opposed to earning.”
—Richard Foster
“A just law is a man-made code that squares with the moral law or the law of God. An unjust law is out of harmony with the moral law.” —Martin Luther King, Jr.
1 Question For You
What areas in your life would you consider ‘good’ and ‘alive’ but not ‘best’ and ‘fruitful’? How can you partner with God and prune them out of your own life, or allow Him to do so? Who is the true gardener of your life, with access to the shears? You or the LORD?
Thanks for reading! If you aren’t already subscribed, you can do so HERE. By subscribing, you can expect the weekly Thursday Thoughts Newsletter, along with an occasional, longer blogpost.
Thanks again for following along, see you again next week!
AG
